That was your theme
by Zia Lupin
Summary: Severus listens to Remus's piano, recalls some events, keeps loving Remus, tries to get loved back. PG, but may change. SLASH!
1. Default Chapter

Author's note: This is me when I listen to Rose's Theme perpetually for an hour. I will write more, this is just and introduction. I wanted to make Remus like me...if I could play piano and hide my feelings as well as that sex beast. ^_^ Hee. Hope you like the beginning!  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither Remus, nor Severus, nor any HP character. *sighs* Too bad, huh?  
  
I heard those notes many times before.  
  
That was my favorite song.  
  
He used to play it all the time. Whenever I walked by his common room, I could always hear him playing it. Every time he did, it sounded so perfect. So full of passion and life, yet sadness loomed in the light melody. It was his song, it was practically his theme. Everytime I saw him, that song came to mind. So beautiful and tranquil, casting an aura of peace and harmony and yet, inner resentment.  
  
It was Remus's theme.  
  
At least, that's how I saw it.  
  
He was playing it that night in Black's old house, the night I finally consented to stay for dinner. It had been a week after Black died, and all through that week, Lupin was the only one who still had that smile on his face. That smile that always meant he was grieving. That smile he wore continously.  
  
That smile killed me.  
  
I suppose it was because he wanted to be strong. He wanted to keep himself happy for everyone else's sake, because everyone else couldn't do so. Really almost pathetic, the way he couldn't just be honest with himself. No...that's incorrect. I heard him in his room...he was honest with himself when he was alone. He could cry.  
  
I sat at the coffee table, drinking my wine and reading a book in front of the fire when I heard the piano once more. As much as I tried to shrug it off, that was his song playing. That was Remus touching those keys, issuing that soft song out of the insturment that I once knew myself. I found myself standing, walking towards the melodius hymn of my own angelic creature. He sat at the keys, hardly noticing me there, playing away any and all emotions he felt inside, I could hear it quite clearly in the air.  
  
"...That's your song."  
  
He quickly turned and looked at me in surprise. His liquid amber eyes were tinged with red as I spotted tears welling in them. He gave a small laugh and turned back to the piano.  
  
"How do you know it...?" he asked, wiping his eyes with his tattered sleeve.  
  
"I could always hear you playing it, even when you weren't. Rather a catchy tune, if I do say so. Who is it by?" I asked sweetly. I felt disgusting. Why was I being so kind? Well, maybe it did make sense to me--he did lose someone, after all.  
  
"It's...by..." I could guess the answer before he even said it, making me cringe and feel slightly nausiated. "It's by Sirius..."  
  
"Oh. Really."  
  
"...Yes... he wrote it for me on his guitar. I changed it up a bit, added more and took away some to make it more piano and less guitar... I almost forget how the real thing went... If he were here he could play it for us," Remus replied calmly. Bastard. You couldn't even hear the hurt in his voice, it was so muddled with him trying to keep that cool exterior.  
  
"I like your version," I told him, grabbing a chair and sitting down with the back between my legs. " Play it again."  
  
He obeyed, his hands roaming over the keys as if he was caressing them, the age old song effortlessly escaping the chords. I was gazing at him from the corner of my eyes, watching his every movement, reveling in being this close to him. His greying hair fell elegantly into his eyes, amber on amber, face aloof and yet still warm. In a word, he was beautiful. Even moreso than Sirius Black, who every girl and even my angel Remus fell head over heels in love with. To me it didn't matter that Black wrote it (sort of), it was still all Remus, it was still him to whom the song belonged, the only man who could play it. The song ended too soon, and I was left silent.  
  
"I'm still kind of rusty, Severus," he smiled, turning back to me.  
  
"Hardly."  
  
He gave another smile and sighed, looking down and picking at the wooden stool absent-mindedly. Something sparkled and fell from his eyes. I got up from my chair and knealt in front of him, placing a hand on his knee comfortingly.  
  
" Lupin, you--"  
  
He tore away and silently stomped out of the room, hastily wiping the tears away. I frowned slightly and stood up, deciding that it was time to go to sleep. 


	2. I know how you like it

Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Author's note: There'll be a sudden change in character for both Remus and Severus. Remus will become cheery all of a sudden, and Severus will ACTUALLY be Severus! HUZZAH! Hope you like!  
  
Disclaimer: I own neither Remus, nor Severus, nor any HP character. *sighs* Too bad, huh?  
  
I wound up living in Gimmauld Place with the rest of the Order during Summer. It wasn't too shabby once they cleaned out most of the disgusting mold and hideous creatures, namely Sirius. My room was rather cramped and stuffy, but I hesitated to open the windows for god knows why reasons. Instead I recluded to the kitchen and living room, spending most of my time reading and/or waiting for news from Moody. It hardly ever came. Seemed Voldemort was busy with other things that terrorizing Britain, but we didn't know what. After a while, a very distinguished guest came to visit.  
  
Harry Potter. What a joy.  
  
As if it wasn't enough listening to his pathetic little complaints all damn year, he had to come and LIVE with us for the length of the holidays. Constantly we could hear his little banterings about how "Sirius should have lived this" and "Voldemort killed my parents that". Soon enough the whole Gryffindor gang showed up, breaking vases and untidying up the bathroom. And just to complete the best summer of my life, Remus had finally given in to moping around in his room.  
  
The one adult I could stand now, and he was busy being a Harry.  
  
Lovely, no?  
  
However, around July he began to open up again.  
  
"So, Severus, what do you think of the house?" he asked kindly as he fried some eggs for the both of us. We were the only ones left in the house. Moody had gone to the Ministry with Aurthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt, while Molly Weasley took the childern shopping. It was obvious that if he weren't so alone, he would probably never talk to me.  
  
" Do you really want to know, Lupin?" I asked snarkily.  
  
"Well, yes! I mean, now that you're living here and all---"  
  
"I'd much rather not say my supreme disgust for this house, Lupin. It'd break the lovely atmosphere of gloom in this...place," I muttered, drinking my coffee.  
  
He raised his eyebrows and shoveled some eggs onto my plate. I muttered my gratitude and reached for the salt, but when I grasped it, he put his hand on mine and stared at me.  
  
"Can't you just for once be optimistic? Here we are in the middle of a war, and everyone is trying to make the best of the situation, and all you can do is be cold and displeased with everything," he implored simply. I rolled my eyes at his little "don't worry, be happy" attitude that really wasn't fooling anyone, and took the salt. "...For my sanity's sake, please just try to pretend you can be happy."  
  
He turned around to get the toast and I didn't watch him this time.  
  
'Pretend I can be happy...' I muttered to myself. I could be happy. I had been happy for a while before I came to Grimmauld Place. I was always happy when Remus wasn't around.  
  
Or perhaps it was the other way.  
  
Either way, it seemed like his dark depression was over. He came back to the table and handed me my toast, placing the ketchup bottle near my plate for my eggs.  
  
"I know how you like it," he grinned, as if he was the most knowledgable person on how I like my eggs, and desrved a pedestal.  
  
"How do you know I like it like this?" I asked in a would-be cold sort of way, but couldn't bring myself around to being mean to him. I suppose it was that smile again.  
  
" After hearing you mope around for the last week because there was no ketchup, I figured things out," Remus said cheerily, sitting down and beginning on his bacon.  
  
"You were the one moping."  
  
"But not over ketchup!" he replied in a sing-song voice, crunching on the bacon with a wolfish grin on his face. Stupid dogs, I hated them.  
  
I guess a wolf was okay, though. 


End file.
